Category Archives: philosphy

Some writing about some guy walking in a parking lot from 10:05 to 10:40

 He passed the neon poison-dart frog lights

  The flamingo pink fluorescent open signs 

  Clustered gangs of humanoids loitering near cars 

  Whispering, chattering, eruptious laughter

  Puffing pungent Mary Jane diffusing in the wind 

 He walked by a noodle restaurant

  And became a suave man cajoling a dame in a crow dress

  He could feel the gritty asphalt, the fish slim air 

  Three cinder blocks arbitrarily lost sat on a wall

  He grabbed out of  philosophical liberty and independence and threw it (lighter than he thought).  

 He felt that youth fluttering like a tiny cardinal between his rib cage 

 And landed, with a plebeian thud but started rolling down until friction did it’s work. safe 

Jumped up and down, the small divider became an exercise for the hamstrings and the gluteus 

Backwards jumps were of an audacious skateboarders, the crowd goes bananas 

Nature calls for a releasing of a steady stream, but no washroom’s in sight. 

Automatic door opens to an electronic spaceship control panel, office’s closed

 Leaving, to wander with aimless intent towards some experiential nirvana

 A digressive meditation on the seemingly ordinary of tea shops and asian diners as a product of immigrant middle class suburban sprawls. How would one distinguish Canada, from say some place in LA? 

What existed before the parking lot was slapped on to dry hard layer effectively killing all that lies beneath? 

Is this humanity’s sick way of entertaining ourselves?
Or is it as more fickle as that female recounting how she dodged the romantic forays of the boy she was holding sweaty hands with? 

Is this what life is all about? Making enough dough,to splurge on drinks and food, to associate with infant mirror images, based on my presupposed birth of being Chinese? 

Was living, more than the hemoglobin receiving O2 for the rest of my organs?  

Am I not so much as a pound of flesh, but with mind, body, soul, spirit? 

But, it’s time to leave, literally. The wait is over, contemplation done.

Easing open the passenger door to driving away into the darkness. 

What were you doing? Oh nothing, just hanging. 


Deus Ex Machina

The phrase “deus ex machina” means “god from the machine” in latin. It’s often a short cut, or cheap plot device used in stories when a seemingly unsolvable problem is suddenly resolved, by the intervention of a character, circumstance, ability, or object. In the same way, we desire for problems in our lives to be solved instantaneously. As a Christian, sometimes I see God as a genie in the bottle, someone to grant my wishes and desires.  Something I’ve been actively learning, not only through knowledge, but with experience is that God often doesn’t work in the ways we want him to work.

Whether we are religious or not, we are all in the process of disillusionment, which will eventually allow us to see the truth in the world. Disillusionment is often used as a negative connotation, but it is the process and activity of dispelling all illusions. Only when we deconstruct our view of the world, how it should work, ideally in our eyes, can we truly view the world from a perspective closer to the truth. None of us will see this objective truth, of why things happen in this world because we all view the world through subjective experience, but we all grasp some truths, you know you parents, your friends, your significant other loves you in some way.

I learned from a young age that the world isn’t fair, or at least the concept of “karma” doesn’t exist in this world, at least not for the present as well as we want it to. We desire instant solutions, in a society which regards technology, and science as a panacea.  Therefore, we all believe in deus ex machina, occasionally, we want our problems, addictions, terrible habits to disappear for we can’t bear the searing guilt and pain from our present lives. We wish for our love ones to not be enduring disease, suffering, loss, despair, meaningless pain and suffering.

And so we turn to our religions, our technology, modern medicine, modern “feel-good” philosophies.  When we realize that perhaps the solutions that we have been retreading, can’t solve the issue, but can only fix a problem temporarily. Sometimes these are fixed permanently, but we use these devices for every circumstance, and in all situations.

I am not advocating for despair or nihilism, but for simply disillusionment.  How often do you read articles online about simple solutions to  problems like global warming, cancer, poverty, hunger, genocide, or the economy. I read these articles every day, on reddit, digg, bbc, cnn, yahoo news, etc. These are all forms of Deus Ex Machina, the modern mentality that things are fixable, through some human ingenuity, and humanistic agenda.

I am only advocating for humbleness, and the idea that we need multiple perspectives, and people from all branches and specialties working together. We need time, we need to spend energy, effort into a repetitious process of trial and error. We have fail terribly, fall flat on our faces to final make us realize what we’ve been doing wrong. And it wouldn’t be so bad to realize that we need help from God, a humbleness to admit we really F*ed up this world. We’ve created habits, behaviors, systems, attitudes, societal conditions that are abhorrent and despicable.  We have to want to change, because as much as we hate how we got to where we are, we don’t hate it enough. We have to be visionaries, being able to see the future, and keeping our eyes on that no matter how much shit you face.

This is hard work, for most of us here in life, it doesn’t get handed to us on a platter. We have to be active characters in this play in life, and not be passive, nor completely idealistic thinking we are in control of our surroundings.

We are going to screw up. But there’s grace in that, and like in evolution, we are all in life trying to figure out through a trial and error process. Even if you google all day long, you will screw up, so stop trying to be a perfectionist. I’ve  made a lot of promises that I said I would keep. But, there’s grace in that, we are forgiven by God, we can be brought to life again, we can wake up again to a beautiful reality that this world is a world of second chances, of re-admittances, of restorations, and reconciliation–but only if you want it. And if you don’t have that desire, pray that you will want it, that you can envision it, taste, smell, feel, your goal, that you would desire it with your heart, mind, and soul. Not only do you have to have faith it is possible, but that you will work towards that goal, often cooperation with others.

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